Parenting Beyond Meltdowns | Neurodivergent, ADHD, ODD, PDA, Defiant, Build Connection, Emotional Regulation, Dysregulated

20 | For the Mama Rung Out by Life: Emotional Regulation for Hard Days

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide!
 
Have you ever felt judged or misunderstood by someone who doesn’t truly know your heart or your child’s?
Do comments from others ever leave you questioning your worth as a mama, even when you know you’re trying your best?
Are you carrying emotional weight from people’s opinions, assumptions, or labels that don’t reflect who you really are?
Have you ever prayed, “Lord, help me release what others are placing on me,” because the pressure feels heavy?
In this episode, I’m coming to you from a very real, very tender place. This wasn’t the episode I planned to record today but after a long, emotionally heavy day filled with unexpected challenges and hurtful words, I felt led to show up exactly as I was. Not polished. Not prepared. Just honest. Because sometimes, life hits hard in ways that have nothing to do with meltdowns, defiance, or the strong-willed or neurodivergent child you’re raising and everything to do with circumstances completely outside your home.
In this raw and vulnerable conversation, I share the kind of encouragement I needed myself: grounding truth, emotional regulation reminders, and a faith-centered reset for the moments when someone else’s words shake you more than you expected. You’ll be reminded that other people’s judgments do not define who you are as a mama or your strong-willed or neurodivergent child (ADHD, ODD, PDA, ASD).
In this episode, you’ll find a soft place to land a moment to breathe, release the emotional weight you’ve been carrying, and remember that the Holy Spirit meets you right in the middle of your worn-out, overwhelmed places.
My hope is that you walk away feeling seen, steadied, and anchored in truth on the days when life feels heavier than your heart knows how to hold.
 
Challenge of the Week:
Grab a journal and ask the Father to tell you who He says you are.Write down every truth He speaks to your heart.
Then, on another page, release the words or judgments that others have placed on you and ask Him to rewrite them with His truth.
Links & Resources
Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
 
 

19 | Holiday Emotional Regulation: You Don’t Have to Please Everyone to Have Peace

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide!
Do any of these sound familiar?
Do you feel pressure to make the holidays look “perfect” for everyone else even when you’re running on empty?
Have you ever felt torn between keeping the peace and protecting your child’s peace?
Do you long to just enjoy the day without walking on eggshells, explaining your parenting, or managing everyone’s emotions?
Wish you could show up calm, grounded, and anchored in who you are in the Father  instead of trying to perform for others?
Episode Highlights
In this episode, we’re slowing down to talk about what it means to build connection while prioritizing peace over performance especially during busy family gatherings.
As a Christian mama raising a strong-willed or neurodivergent child, the holidays can bring joy… and pressure. You might face unsolicited advice, judgment, or tension around how your child behaves  and how you “should” respond. But friend, you don’t have to prove, perform, or please anyone.
You’ll learn how to regulate your emotions in the moment, focus on your child’s sense of safety and connection, and create a calm, grounded atmosphere anchored in the Father’s peace. Whether your child has ADHD, Autism, ODD, PDA, or simply big emotions, this episode will remind you that peace isn’t something you chase it’s something you carry through the Holy Spirit.
Take a deep breath, release the pressure, and remember: you’re not here to perform you’re here to love well.
Faith Anchor
“The Lord will give strength to His people; the Lord will bless His people with peace.” — Psalm 29:11 (ESV)
You already carry the peace of the Lord within you, mama. When expectations rise and emotions run high, pause and breathe His peace anchors you even in the noise.
Blessing:
Father as we walk into this Thanksgiving, fill our hearts with peace that steadies us when expectations rise.
Remind us that we don’t have to prove ourselves that our only job is to stay anchored in Your love.
When things feel heavy or hard, whisper to our spirit, “You and your child are safe with Me.”
Let Your presence bring calm, connection, and gratitude to our homes and environments today.
In Yahusha’s Mighty Name, Amen.
Links & Resources
Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
Final Encouragement
Peace isn’t found in doing everything “right.”It’s found in resting in the One who’s already made you whole.You are doing sacred work, mama showing up, loving your child, and reflecting His peace one moment at a time.
 

18 | Navigating Holiday Gatherings with Emotional Regulation: Building Connection and Protecting Your Peace with Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Kids

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide!
Do you ever…
• Feel torn between keeping family happy and doing what’s best for your strong-willed or neurodivergent child?• Worry about how others will react to your child’s behavior at family gatherings?• Feel that quiet nudge from the Holy Spirit but doubt your strength to follow it when others push back?• Wish you could walk into the holidays grounded, confident, and at peace no matter what others say or expect?
Episode Highlights
In this episode, we’re talking about what it looks like to choose peace over pressure when family expectations collide with your child’s needs. You’ll hear a personal story about the tension between pleasing others and protecting your child’s peace and how to recognize that still, small voice guiding you toward what’s best. Together, we’ll walk through practical ways to set boundaries, build connection with your child, importance of emotional regulation, and anchoring your heart in truth when others don’t understand your parenting choices.
You’ll learn how to stay calm and confident even when family members question your approach, how to create emotional safety for your child with ADHD, Autism (ASD), ODD, PDA, or sensory challenges, and how to hold onto peace when the pressure to “keep everyone happy” starts to rise.
Whether you’re navigating meltdowns, managing defiant behavior, or simply craving a more connected, grace-filled holiday, this episode will remind you that you are the expert on your child and the Father’s peace is always stronger than people’s opinions.
This Thanksgiving, you can protect your peace, parent with compassion, and walk in confidence knowing you are led by love, not guilt.
Faith Anchor
“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”  Proverbs 29:25
When you trust the Father’s guidance more than people’s expectations, you step out of fear and into freedom. True peace comes from knowing that your worth and your child’s isn’t determined by anyone else’s approval.
Challenge of the Week
This week, take time to pray over your plans before the holiday.Ask the Father to show you what peace looks like for your family this year.Write down one simple boundary that would help protect that peace maybe it’s saying no, stepping out for a break, or letting your child play in another room.
Then, ask Him to give you the courage to follow through when the pressure rises.
 
Remember, peace doesn’t always mean everyone’s happy sometimes it just means you stayed anchored in love and obedience to the Father.
Links & Resources
Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
 

17 | How to Build Connection After Emotional Regulation Takes a Backseat to Meltdowns

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide!
Ever replayed a moment after your child’s meltdown and thought, “Why did I do that again?”
Do you wish you could respond with peace instead of guilt after losing your cool?
Wonder how to rebuild connection when emotions run high for both you and your child?
Episode Highlights
In this episode, we’re diving into one of the most healing, hope-filled parts of parenting strong-willed and neurodivergent kids — repair.
No matter how much you work on emotional regulation, you’ll still have moments when things don’t go as planned. But peace doesn’t come from perfection — it comes from reconnection.
Amanda shares what real repair looks like after a rupture, how to restore emotional safety, and how to rebuild trust and connection with your child, even when meltdowns, defiance, or sensory overload happen.
You’ll learn how to:
Recognize what’s happening inside of you before trying to fix what’s happening around you.
Use the 3 R’s of Repair — Regulate, Reconnect, Reflect — to restore safety and model humility.
Respond to your child with compassion and confidence, even when they’re overwhelmed by ADHD, Autism (ASD), ODD, or PDA-related challenges.
Apply the Creation Cycle to renew your mind and partner with the Holy Spirit in the middle of hard moments.
Because here’s the truth, mama it’s not the meltdown that defines your relationship, but how you reconnect afterward.
Faith Anchor
“Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning.”— Lamentations 3:22–23
Just like God’s mercies are new every morning, you get to mirror that same grace with your child. Every repair moment is a chance to show them what unconditional love looks like connection after chaos, mercy after rupture.
Challenge of the Week
This week, when a hard moment happens:
1️⃣ Pause and regulate yourself first.2️⃣ Return to your child and name what happened gently.3️⃣ Remind them of your love, even if they’re not ready to receive it yet.
Then, reflect on what shifted - not what went wrong, but how choosing repair created safety for both of you.
Links & Resources
Join the Insiders List: https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email: amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
Final Note
You’re not called to perfect parenting you’re called to faithful connection.Every time you choose repair over shame, you’re reflecting the Father’s heart and modeling the kind of grace that changes generations.

16 | Meltdowns + Emotional Regulation: Becoming the Hero in Your Strong-Willed or Neurodivergent Child’s Story

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is ranked in the Top 3% of podcasts globally! 
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the same cycle — your child melts down, you react, and afterward you think, “Why did I do that again?”
If so, this episode will speak straight to your heart.
We’re diving into a powerful concept called the Hero, Victim, and Villain lens and how it can completely change the way you approach parenting your strong-willed or neurodivergent child.
When meltdowns happen, it’s easy to slip into old patterns: feeling powerless (the Victim), trying to control (the Villain), or losing hope altogether. But what if you could step into a new story one where you become the Hero?
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:
Recognize when you’re parenting from fear, shame, or frustration
Understand how emotional regulation helps you respond instead of react
Rebuild peace and connection with your child, even during the hardest moments
Partner with the Holy Spirit to take your thoughts captive and renew your mind
We’ll walk through real-life examples like handling defiant behavior, PDA-style refusals, or emotional meltdowns common in kids with ADHD, Autism (ASD), or ODD  in a way that protects your peace and builds lasting connection.
Because here’s the truth: you can’t always control the chaos, but you can anchor yourself in calm.You can create emotional safety for both you and your child no matter how strong-willed, neurodivergent, or overwhelmed you both feel in the moment.
Mama, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing peace, walking in grace, and remembering that with God’s help… you can be the calm in your child’s storm.
Listen now to learn:
The difference between reacting in fear and responding in faith
How to identify whether you’re in the Hero, Victim, or Villain role
What emotional regulation looks like in real-life parenting moments
How to rebuild trust and connection with your child when things go wrong
Faith Anchor:
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Galatians 5:22–23 
 
Challenge of the Week: 
This week, I want to challenge you to notice which story you’re living from when things get hard.
When your strong-willed or neurodivergent child has a meltdown, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
“Am I showing up as the Victim, the Villain, or the Hero?”
“What thought is driving my reaction right now?”
Then, take a deep breath and pray:
“Father, help me take this thought captive. Help me see my child — and myself — the way You do.”
Your only goal is awareness.You don’t have to get it perfect — just start noticing.
Because every time you pause, reflect, and invite God into the moment, you’re strengthening your emotional regulation and creating space for deeper connection with your child.
 
Links & Resources:
Join Insiders List:https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
Megan Fate Marshman Quote
 
 

15 | The #1 Tool for Parenting Beyond Meltdowns with Strong-willed & Neurodivergent Kids: Building Connection Through Emotional Regulation

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide! 
Do you ever feel like you’re living in constant reaction mode just trying to survive one meltdown, defiant moment, or emotional storm after another?
In this episode, we’re diving into The Creation Cycle — the #1 tool that will help you renew your mind, regulate your emotions, and rebuild connection with your strong-willed or neurodivergent child (ASD, ADHD,ODD, PDA, Autism).
You’ll learn how your thoughts, feelings, and actions work together and how shifting your thoughts can change the atmosphere of your entire home.
This simple, faith-based framework will help you take your thoughts captive, calm the chaos, and parent with confidence and compassion even when big emotions rise.
In This Episode, You’ll Discover:
What the Creation Cycle is and how it helps you partner with God to renew your mind
The difference between un-captured/un-renewed (false self) and renewed (true self) thoughts
How to identify the patterns keeping you stuck in survival mode
How to process emotions with grace so you can respond from love, not reactivity
Real-life examples of what this looks like for moms of strong-willed, defiant, or neurodivergent kids
Faith Anchor
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” — Romans 12:2“Take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:5
Encouragement for the Week
You don’t have to keep reacting from fear or frustration.You can renew your mind, regulate your emotions, and rebuild connection one faith-filled thought at a time.
Challenge of the Week:
This week, I want you to:
Do a Thought Download. Get every thought out of your head and onto paper.
Pick one thought or emotion that feels the most charged.
Run it through your Creation Cycle.
Then ask yourself:
“What do I want to believe on purpose?”
Write that new thought down every day and practice it until it becomes the truth you live from.
Thought: What am I thinking?
Feeling: What emotion does that thought create in me?
Action: What do I do when I feel that way?
Result: What does that action create in my life—internally and externally?
Links & Resources
Join Insiders List:https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
 

14 | Turning Thoughts and Feelings into Faith-Filled Action: Emotional Regulation for Moms of Strong-Willed & Neurodivergent Kids

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is Ranked in the Top 3% of Podcasts Worldwide! 
Mama, what if your actions could tell you everything you need to know about your thoughts, your feelings, and even your true identity in Messiah?
In today’s episode, we’re talking about the choices we make—the ones that keep us stuck and the ones that move us forward—so you can step fully into being the mama the Father created you to be.
In This Episode
This week, we’re exploring the action part of the Creation Cycle—how your daily choices flow directly from your thoughts, emotions, and identity in Christ.
You’ll learn:
What buffering looks like (and how it keeps you stuck in survival mode).
How to recognize when you’re living from your false self (old man) instead of your true self (new man).
Why emotional regulation matters when raising a strong-willed or neurodivergent child (ADHD, ASD, ODD, PDA).
What it means to take faith-filled action—even when it feels uncomfortable.
How to let the Father renew your mind so your actions reflect who He says you are.
Faith Anchor
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”— Romans 12:2
Taking action in faith isn’t about striving harder—it’s about surrendering deeper.
When we act from our renewed identity, our choices begin to reflect love, patience, and connection instead of fear, frustration, or control.
Key Takeaways
Buffering (scrolling, snacking, overworking, etc.) is how we often avoid emotions—but awareness helps us face what’s really going on.
True Self vs. False Self: Your true self lives from love, grace, and abundance; your false self reacts from fear, lack, and self-protection.
Faith-Filled Action: Growth happens when we take imperfect action—when we show up with courage even in the middle of hard moments.
Emotional Regulation: You can’t control your child’s behavior, but you can control how you respond. This is what rebuilds connection and peace at home.
Challenge of the Week
Identify one area of your life where you’ve been buffering or numbing out—maybe through social media, food, or busyness.
This week, instead of avoiding the emotion, pause and allow it.Then take one small action that aligns with your true self—something that moves you closer to peace, presence, and connection with your child.
Ask yourself:
“Am I acting from fear, or am I acting from love?”
Every time you choose love, you’re becoming more of who the Father created you to be.
Favorite Quote from This Episode
“Your child doesn’t have to change for you to reclaim your peace. When you regulate your emotions and act from your true identity, you become the calm in your child’s storm.”
Listen & Connect
If this episode encouraged you, share it with another mama who’s walking through the storms of parenting a strong-willed or neurodivergent child.
Don’t forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts—it helps other moms find Parenting Beyond Meltdowns and reminds them they’re not alone.
 
Links & Resources
Join Insiders List:https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
 

13 | Defiant or Dysregulated? How Processing Emotions Builds Connection and Calm in Parenting

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is ranked in the Top 3% of podcasts globally!
If you have a child strong-willed or neurodivergent child with ADHD, Autism, ODD, PDA you are in the right place!Mama, have you ever felt like you’re carrying emotional weight that never seems to go away? Like no matter how much you pray or think positive thoughts, it still sits heavy in your chest? In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process your emotions all the way through, so they stop living rent-free in your body—and you can finally breathe again.
In This Episode
Over the last few episodes, we’ve talked about becoming aware of what you’re feeling and allowing emotions without judgment.Today in the last episode of our 3 part series, we take the next step—learning how to process those emotions so they stop living rent-free in your body and start making space for peace, healing, and deeper connection with your child.
You’ll learn:
Why emotions are simply energy in motion—and how to let them pass through.
What it practically looks like to sit with an emotion instead of resisting it.
How trapped emotions can keep us feeling heavy and stagnant.
Practical ways to process emotions through movement, writing, and connection.
How releasing your emotions brings more peace to your home and your heart.
Faith Anchor: God Created Us with Emotions
The Bible shows again and again that feelings aren’t something to hide or be ashamed of—they are part of how God designed us to connect with Him and others.
Verses Showing It’s Okay to Have Feelings & Emotions
John 11:35 – “Jesus wept.”→ Even Jesus, the Son of God, expressed deep sorrow and grief.
Psalm 42:11 (NIV) – “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”→ David honestly shared his sadness while still turning toward hope.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (NIV) – “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”→ The Word affirms that all emotions—joy and sorrow alike—have their place.
Mark 14:33–34 (NIV) – “He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them. ‘Stay here and keep watch.’”→ Jesus openly expressed anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV) – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”→ The Father draws near to us in our most painful emotions.
Romans 12:15 (NIV) – “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”→ Emotions are part of our shared human experience, and the Father calls us to honor them together.
When we process our emotions with the Father instead of pushing them away, He transforms what once felt heavy into something holy. The same emotions that once buried us can become the soil where healing grows.
Recap
Emotions aren’t meant to stay trapped inside. They’re like clouds passing over the sun or waves rolling through the ocean—they move when we let them. When we process emotions instead of carrying them like a backpack full of rocks, we create space for more peace, connection, and joy.
Challenge of the Week
When you notice an emotion this week:
Pause and describe it—what does it feel like in your body?
If it had a color, shape, or texture, what would it be?
Choose one physical action to help release it: a walk, a cry, dancing, or a hug.
Invite the Father into that moment—ask Him what He’s teaching you and thank Him for helping you release it.
Join the Anchored Mama Insiders List
Want more encouragement like this? Join my Insiders List for faith-filled reminders, emotional regulation tips, and practical tools to help you stay anchored in who God says you are.
Insiders List:
https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas
 
 

12 | Feeling Dysregulated? Why Allowing Your Emotions Brings Peace in Parenting

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is ranked in the Top 3% of podcasts globally! 
Ever feel like your emotions take over the moment your child melts down? You try to push them away, but they only come back stronger.
In this episode part 2 of a 3 part series, Amanda Calfee, Christian life coach and creator of The Anchored Mama Approach, teaches you how to allow emotions without being ruled by them so you can stay calm, connected, and confident—even when chaos hits.
You’ll learn how:✨ Your thoughts create your feelings (and how to recognize repeating thought patterns)✨ Resisting emotions can actually make them stronger✨ Allowing emotions opens the door to peace, connection, and freedom✨ Jesus modeled the full range of human emotion—and invites you to do the same
If you’ve ever felt hijacked by your feelings or disconnected from your strong-willed or neurodivergent child, this conversation will show you how to invite God into your emotional life and stop letting guilt or shame run the show.
Bible Verses Mentioned
John 11:35 – “Jesus wept.”→ Used to show that even Jesus experienced and expressed emotion.
Mark 14:33–34 – “He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them.”→ Used to illustrate that Jesus felt deep anguish and didn’t hide it.
Psalm 62:8 – “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.”→ Emphasizes that God invites us to bring our emotions to Him rather than suppress them.
Challenge of the Week — Allowing Emotions
This week, when you feel a strong emotion rise up, practice allowing it instead of reacting or suppressing it.
Steps to practice:1️⃣ Pause and name what you’re feeling.2️⃣ Take a deep breath and say, “It’s safe for me to feel this.”3️⃣ Notice what happens when you stop fighting the emotion and simply let it exist.
📝 Bonus Tip: Write a quick note each time you try this — you’ll start seeing how much lighter it feels when you stop resisting your emotions.
Links & Resources
Join Insiders List:https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas

11 | 3 Emotional Regulation Secrets Every Mom Needs for Parenting Strong-Willed and Neurodivergent Kids

Parenting Beyond Meltdowns is ranked in the Top 3% of podcasts globally! 
Does it ever feel like your child’s meltdowns hijack your whole mood? One moment you’re calm, the next you’re snapping, and then comes the guilt. You’re not alone, mama and you’re not broken.
In this first part of our 3 part series, we’re unpacking the first step to emotional resilience as a Christian mom: awareness. You’ll learn how to recognize the repetitive thoughts you carry and the emotions they create, so you can stop feeling overwhelmed and start walking in peace.
This episode will help you:
Understand the link between your thoughts and emotions.
Learn why emotions aren’t the enemy but powerful messengers.
Begin noticing your inner dialogue without judgment.
Take on a simple 3-minute daily challenge to grow awareness.
If you’re parenting a strong-willed or neurodivergent child — whether that’s ADHD, PDA, ODD, Autism, or ASD — this first step is crucial. Emotional regulation doesn’t begin with fixing your child’s behavior. It begins with understanding your own thought life and emotions.
Challenge of the Week:Each day this week, set a timer for 3 minutes and ask yourself two questions:
What am I thinking right now?
What emotion is that thought creating?
No judgment, just awareness. This is your first step toward peace, connection, and resilience in parenting.
 
Links & Resources:
Join Insiders List:https://amandacalfee.com/page/insider-list
Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/amandacalfee/
Email:
amanda@amandacalfee.com
 
Facebook Group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/anchoredmamas